National Rifle Association

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

An eagle, guns, and America...nothing finer.

1 Introduction
2 Role of the NRA
3 NRA Tour
- 3.1 2008 Tour
4 History
5 Notable Members

Introduction

National Rifle Association, the awesmomest, most patriotic organization ever. Liberals want to take away our right to have guns... and the NRA wants to shoot them and burn their bodies. The NRA realizes that the average citizen will need to be prepared for the Bear uprising of 2012, and will need personal arsenals to turn back the bear menace. The NRA is led by That guy from the original Planet of the Apes, Ted Nugent and Magnum PI.

The N.R.A. is the original protector of the Second Amendment.

Role of the NRA

The National Rifle Association travels around in a bus called "The Mystery Machine" and with their large Great Dane, they hunt malicious "ghosts". (Usually, the "ghosts" turn out to be cans. Afri-cans, Mexi-cans, Puerto Ri-cans. Either that or Old Man Smithers)

NRA Tour

Real Patriots go on tour with the NRA! Go America!

The NRA officials announced they will be traveling around the country this winter to promote their new slogan, "We're everywhere you are!"

"We'll be like a traveling revival of Constitutional rights: part God, part gun, no gays!" an unnamed spokesman announced during a December, 2007 press conference, "We have Real American Celebrities like Tom Selleck, Kurt Russell and Ricky Schroeder who will be speaking to communities like Colorado Springs, Colorado, Arvado, Colorado, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, Utah and Kansas City, Missouri. The very places, where red-blooded Americans live and work and shop and worship Our Lord and Savior in the safety that only guns can provide."

"Our aim is to hit every American town, no matter how small," the spokesman promised.

2008 Tour

More Cities have been added to the 2008 tour:

History

The NRA's new recruitment campaign, designed to attract animal lovers

In 1545, Jesus and Ted Nugent decided that the only way to protect Real Americans was to give them guns—lots of them. Since then, it has been been constantly assailed by the forces of darkness, most notably Michael Moore, Al Franken, and all feminazis.