Oklahoma
From Wikiality
See Also:
The "Great" State of OKLAHOMA 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | The Range |
| State Flower: | Bamboo Tree |
| Official Language: | Oklahomian |
| State Bird: | The Dirty Bird |
| State Motto: | You can't fry bacon here. |
| Nickname: | The gun that Texas is threatening to kill New Mexico with. |
| Governor: | Tom Cruise from that one movie |
| State Anthem: | We took our land from Indians |
| Population: | Count it on one hand |
| Standard MPH: | As fast as your horse can go |
| Principal imports: | Tornadoes |
| Principal exports: | dust |
| Principal industries: | tornado production |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Gas is 6 cents a gallon because no one owns a car |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Barry Sanders is the greatest thing ever to happen to Oklahoma. Period. |
Contents |
[edit] Discovery
Most Americans have not yet discovered Oklahoma. 77% of third-graders label it Iowa on school quizzes.
[edit] History
Lots of running, shooting, more running, BLACK GOLD, some more shooting, craploads of dust and mass exodus to Cali-for-ni-ay!
Musicals, country music (you remember the "boot in yer ass" song? Okie born and bred.).
Garth Brooks, Vince Gill, Paul Harvey, Ron Howard, Reba McEntire, Will Rogers, etc. . . (Brad Pitt Went to Shawnee High School, btw.) Big ass tornadoes, and lots of them.
Don't like the weather? Wait a while, it'll change. - Will Rogers
We've got droughts, flooding, wind, ice, snow. We've had snow in July (think I'm kidding, go check it out), and 90 degrees PLUS in October and November. We have 4 distinguishable seasons: Tornado, Ice, Flood, and Desert. Though in no particular order, one (possibly all) of these will happen in any given 24 hour period.
It's our Centennial, so wish us Happy Birthday, and congratulations on somehow being worthy enough to be kept in God's majestic creation that is The United States of Colbe.... I mean.. America!
We officially support Stephen Colbert's campaign for Presidency.
("We" being all those who arent bears, gays, baby-killers/eaters, terrorists, vegetables, owls, or liberal assholes)
[edit] Achieving Statehood
Oklahoma was founded in 1943 by Rodgers and Hammerstein and is the only state based upon a Gay show tune.
[edit] Oklahoma Today
A statute was passed that, in the State of Oklahoma, when you turn the age of 100 you officially become a woman. The statute was proposed, seconeded and voted on by Mike Gundy.
[edit] Oklahoma Landmarks
[edit] Famous Oklahomans
- Hanson- That young boy threesome who fought with the Spice Girls for record supremacy in the mid 90's. Probably just some gay kids.
Garth Brooks, Vince Gill, Paul Harvey, Ron Howard, Reba McEntire, Will Rogers, lets face it all the cool normal people in Hollywood are really from Oklahoma.
- Mickey Mantle- New York Yankee baseball player. Better than Babe Ruth because Mickey voted Republican.
- Pretty Boy Floyd- Notorious Gangster who wasn't actually that pretty. Or a boy, so guess he was really just Floyd.
[edit] A Typical Day in Oklahoma
- 5:00- A.M. Wake up and tend your cattle.
- 6:30- Kill your breakfast and eat it.
- 7:00- Fire up your diesel truck, run to town for the days supply of beer.
- 8:00-1:30 Drink beer and goof off.
- 1:30- P.M. Catch a fish and eat it for lunch.
- 2:00-5:30 Take a nap.
- 6:00- Pick up your buddies in your 4x4 and go mud bogging.
- 8:00- P.M. - 3:00 A.M. Go to your local hot spot, go noodling, then catch a 100 lb spoonbill catfish.
- 3:00-5:00 Sleep.
I live in Oklahoma. This is actually what I do.
