The Philippines

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Hey, where the hell is
The Philippines???
I don't care, it's not America...hey nice ass, lady!
Hello, The Philippines
Asian and very good at math.


The Philippines
Capitol: Manila
Official Languages: Tagalog, English and TagLish
Leader: that short, hot Asian Momma, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo
Pres. Arroyo during a happy Press Conference in 2007 about children poverty and starvation.
Pres. Arroyo during a happy Press Conference in 2007 about children poverty and starvation.
National Anthem: Lupang Hinirang (which translates to "poor people from the slums, stop making babies")
Population: A whopping 91 million (christ almighty....)
Climate: crazy hot yo!
Principal imports: as far as sources go, the good ol' US of A baby, whoooo!
Principal exports: that skinny Asian fella on HBO who likes to beat the crap out of Mexicans
Principal industries: hemp, sugar, bamboo and nurses
Most famous for: Having millions of kids to go college to become doctors but only end up being nurses overseas. And also for the Yo-Yo, a popular toy that originated from the Philippines invented by the great MC Pedro.
the famous YO-YO originally developed as a stealth weapon for any horny guys to knock out hot chicks because the rape drug wasn't available yet.
the famous YO-YO originally developed as a stealth weapon for any horny guys to knock out hot chicks because the rape drug wasn't available yet.
A typical Filipino warrior equipped with a natural defense - an  iron index finger that could pierce a skull if you make fun of Imelda Marcos' shoes.
A typical Filipino warrior equipped with a natural defense - an iron index finger that could pierce a skull if you make fun of Imelda Marcos' shoes.

One of the few countries in the world that is completely bear-free (except for its zoos). If you don't know where the country is located, look on your map, look at those group of islands right below Japan that kinda looks like a sitting dog (funny, because they like to eat them).

Stephen likes it because it is run by the people who ought to run it - the Roman Catholic Bishops.

Like typical Asians, they like to eat rice and fish. But unlike typical Asians, they look and sound Mexican because some of their natives had sex with white people from Spain. Although some of them still look very Asiany with monolids because of the amalgamation of Chinese people from Chinaland who immigrate into the country for those delicious plentiful seahorses the country's ocean provides for medicinal purposes and for garnishing their lo-mein.

Contents

[edit] The Philippines History

The peaceful brown race of Pinoys (pronounced as pee-noise, as they like to call themselves slang-wise) were invaded by those bastards from Spain and ruled them for 300 years. So those Euro bastards beat the crap out of them and forced their language and their culture into the archipelago until the Americans (whoo hoo!!) came and sent them back to Spainland. And then it was their turn to beat the crap out of the little brown people.

[edit] The Philippines Today

Still the same decrepit hellhole

[edit] The Philippines Landmarks

Some remarkable landmarks that Filipino people could be proud of, as an example would be the famous White House rip-off Malacanang Palace and of course, that everlasting beauty that resembles a very perky lady boob Mayon Volcano.

[edit] Famous People From The Philippines

IMELDA MARCOS! IMELDA MARCOS! IMELDA MARCOS! IMELDA MARCOS!

The crazy shoe-lady, Imelda Marcos.
The crazy shoe-lady, Imelda Marcos.

[edit] Philippine Entertainment In The Philippines

The whole showbiz industry is diluted with a lot of gay guys. The most famous hot actor there is a very pretty boy named Richard Gutierrez who is the nation's poster boy for all those who talk with a lisp.
Richard "ValenTimes King" Gutierrez-- he'll rub you the right way
Richard "ValenTimes King" Gutierrez-- he'll rub you the right way


[edit] A Typical Day In The Philippines

The good-natured people of the Philippines likes drink a fake juice poison popularly known as Tang when it gets too hot. They are also known to have the love for the world's finest food ever invented - the Balut.

a hot Filipina chick eating a dead chick, balut.
a hot Filipina chick eating a dead chick, balut.
BALUT ....it's what's for dinner!!
BALUT ....it's what's for dinner!!
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