Rain
From Wikiality
Warning! This article contains languages that clearly aren't American.
| Rain was a Wikiality.com Featured Word on 5/20/07.
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 Yo, I've spent most of my life studying Michael Jackson videos in order to perfect this style, ya know what I'm sayin', and now that kimchi-snorting kigger just comes along and steals my moves! 
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Rain (aliases include "비", "정지훈", and "雨" to his Red Chinese masters), aka Kid Jong Il is the arch-nemesis of Stephen Colbert and is, according to the blatantly biased Time Magazine, a "24 year-old Korean R&B phenom", and the most influential person according to the Your TIME 100 poll. By some inconceivable travesty he finished ahead of second place Stephen Colbert, a move which surely cements his country of Korea in the Axis of Evil. However, we all know this Korean Elvis is just another example of the Korean people co-opting black culture.
Rain (if that's your real name!), how dare you finish above Our Glorious Stephen in a meaningless list compiled by giddy teenagers and featured on the website of America's favorite liberal rag! Stephen didn't fight to defend your country (metaphorically!) just so you could come over here, take all our jobs, and steal his gravitas!
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[edit] Stephen's Battle with Rain
Stephen and Rain have battled for years on the Korean Pop (KPop) charts, where Rain has always gotten the best of Stephen. This was largely thanks to his young appearance and hairless body, in addition to his subtle anti-America rhetoric.
But Real Americans need not fear this Korean invasion for long. Seoul singer Rain is about to get his comeuppance, because Stephen Colbert's new single "He's Singin' In Korean" is rapidly climbing the KPop charts. We'll see who's singing in Korean now!
[edit] Stephen's Defeat of Rain!
The recent news that Rain has canceled all of his American tour dates is a clear and unequivocal sign: Rain is scared of the awesome talent that is Stephen Colbert!
In the face of true gravitas and popularity, Rain decided that cutting and running from America was his only viable choice. After seeing Stephen's "Singing In Korean" video our Korean "friend" started leaving puddles on the floor. For a brief time he thought he'd be safe hiding among the Hollywood liberals, and so left that one show uncanceled. But when he realized even Hollywood cannot resist Stephen's charm and influence he fled like a little French girl from a deodorant store!
[edit] Dance Dance Revolution
It is believed by some that the song "Your Rain" by Akira Yamaoka which appears on one of the DDR games for Playstation 2 has something to do with the singer Rain.
[edit] The Colbert-Rain Dance/Cuddle-Off
Preliminary photos shown here. Be afraid. And the SHOWDOWN.
[edit] Conflict spreading into the Economist!
In the 26th Feb 09 edition of the Economist, the battle entered a new phase and a new arena. BOTH Stephen Colbert and Rain were mentioned ONCE in the magazine (technically, rain was mentioned twice, but the first time it referred to precipitation, so it DOESN'T COUNT!). We shall be monitoring the situation as it develops.
[1] Mentioning how our man Colbert nailed Eleanor Holmes Norton for NOT ONCE voting during her time in office (and also explaining why she didn't).
[2] for the article mentioning Rain (apparently, Google isn't doing too well in South Korea, because their Western-based search engine foolishly thinks people searching for "rain" want to know about precipitation....) --204.4.131.140 18:12, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
[edit] Motto
- Endless effort, endless endurance, endless modesty.
[edit] Future Plans
Rain is hoping to defeat Speed Racer in his next race. Ha HA!
[edit] External links
- The Your TIME 100 list, no doubt compiled by foreigners, liberals and public school-educated children.
- NFZ has a whole category dedicated to documenting his sordid activities.
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Sign up to sue Rain!Aww, sorry too late!
