Ricky Bobby
From Wikiality
wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence!
Ricky Bobby, born July 16, 1971, is an American Hero who likes to go fast. Who can argue with that? Liberals try to, but fail because they are terrorists and are thwarted by George W. Bush.
Ricky prays to The Baby Jesus, something everyone should do. Liberals hate Ricky because he prays and they are godless Communists. They also hate Ricky because he is a winner, and Liberals automatically hate someone who wins all the time, which is also why they hate George W. Bush and Stephen Colbert, who are also winners. Ricky is nicknamed "El Diablo", which is Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken. Ricky is the star of a NASCAR documentary and the best movie ever made (next to Highlander, of course): Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
Contents |
Quotes
- [thinking he is on fire] Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Help me, Allah! Aah! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off of me!Somebody help im F-----n on fire!
- Help me, Oprah Winfrey!
- I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f--- you.
- Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is just around the corner, and what better gift to give a loved one [pulls out knife] than the Jack Hawk 9000? Available at Wal-Mart!
- I've sent in my application to The Real World, so I'm puttin' a lotta eggs in that basket, the MTV basket. I also thought about getting a gun and becomin' a crack dealer. I wouldn't be, like, a mean crack dealer...I'd be a nice one. I'd just be like "Hey, guys, what's up? You want some crack?".
- Dear Lord Baby Jesus, lying there in your...your little ghost manger, lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental...videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors...
- Hang on, Baby Jesus, this is gon' get bumpy!
- Now, due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates that I mention POWERade at each grace, I'd just like to say that POWERade is delicious, it cools you off on a hot summer day, and we're all looking forward to POWERade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
- [driving his first race] Hey, Lucius, I just wanted to share a piece of personal information with you. I've got a...a chubby right now because THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE!! I'M GETTIN' TO DRIVE A RACECAR I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOD!!!
- The room is startin' to spin real fast...cause of...cause of gayness.
- [Looking under the hood of his race car] Hot dog! I mean, that's like lookin' up Yasmine Bleeth's skirt!
- Yep, I'm flyin' through the air, this is not good.
- [to his father-in-law] The only thing you ever did with your life is make a hot daughter! That's it!
- [to Girard] I've got you, Pepe Le Bitch!
- [getting ready to bump Girard in a race] Hey, it's me, America!
- Slingshot: engage.
- I'm not sure what to do with my hands.
- You gotta win to get love. I mean, that's just life. Look at...look at Don Shula. Legendary coach. Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record for eatin' all those hot dogs in a row. Look at Rue McClanahan. From The Golden Girls. Three people, all great champions, all loved.
- Get down, Karen!
From trailer
- Momma, I'm goin' fast!
- I feel like a mongoose, stalking its prey.
From outtakes
- 98 percent of us will die at some point in our lives.
- [advertising for McCreedy Funeral Services] Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it!
From deleted scenes
- [doing a Big Red commercial] Chew Big Red, or get outta my face. Motherf--ker.
