Science

From Wikiality

Science
is science-related, sending it straight to hell.

Science is the old version of everything that we thought was true. Some of it was proven, but most of it was a figment of Stephen Hawking's brain. In the 1990's, people began to realize that brain thinking was getting results that supported the terrorists, thus thinking by feeling and the new science of the gut emerged.

The findings of science can change over time; the findings of your gut never have to. At one point in time, science dictated the Earth was flat and that the Sun revolved around it. Science decided to change its mind because like a woman, it has its own prerogatives. Science may seem appealing at first glance, what with its ability to provide us with internets tubes, but it also tries to make us dumb by telling us that donuts are spheres (See: Poincare conjecture).

Now, thanks to the love of the baby Jesus and true patriots everywhere, Intelligent Design has come to be agreed upon by 11 out of 10 scientists as being the best science with a whole new dimension of truthiness to accommodate thinking with your gut.

1 Scientific Facts
2 Scientific Frauds/Misrepresentations
3 Disputes Science Cannot Explain
4 See Also

[edit] Scientific Facts

The earth was created 6,000 years ago
Water freezes at 50 degrees Fahrenheit not 32, the Bible says so.
Thomas Edison invented science when he created the light bulb
The number of elephants in the world tripled in the summer of 2006
That feeling you get when you know you've done something wrong is the Holy Spirit.
Stephen Colbert's opinions are scientific facts.
Stephen Hawking is a paid member of the liberal agenda
Rainbows are God's promise to never flood the Earth again
Newton stole ideas from America's God as do all people of science today.
All scientists are atheist liberals who want to clone sheep to have sex with them.
Science is a evil idea that was unleashed to the world by Karl Marx after Edison light shown.
~~Chuck Norris~~ created the universe and existed before God did.
Carl Sagen is a astrologer not a astronomer.
Stephen Hawking is actually Stephen Colbert's evil unidentical unrelated twin.
Einstein was in fact a Nazi not a Jew.
All scientist gay marry when they get their degrees.
Dinosaurs are lies made by the Devil to test Christians faith in God.
Scientology is actually the liberal agenda in action.
The universe does in fact have a heliocentric rotation on earth, but only because Stephen Colbert is on earth.
The earth is hollow, because that's where the devil lives.
Stephen Colbert gave Einstein all his ideas, because he felt bad for the Nazi.