Sierra Club
From Wikiality
The Sierra Club is an integral part of the liberal conspiracy, and an active ally for the Dark Side in the War on Bears. Their President currently is Al Gore[1], and their membership is comprised of tree huggers, hippies, beatniks, nogoodniks, liberals, and of course bears.
They actively pursue a tree-hugging agenda and will act as the Marine Corp of the enemy during the upcoming Bear Uprising of 2012.
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History
Founded in 1892 by John Muir during an opium orgy in San Francisco, the Sierra Club soon gained international prominence due to their pro-flora marriage agenda, and their belief in bear worship.[1]
However, the resurgence of America during the 1940s and 1950s emasculated their message and caused a dramatic drop in membership. Their recovery started with the decadence of the 1960s and 1970s, and was accelerated by the global warming hysteria.
Mission Statement
- To explore strange new forests.
- To seek out new life and fornicate with it.
- To boldly go where no man has gone before!
Training
Sierra Club members are renowned for their hardiness. After undergoing an intensive month-long "soul selling" course, they are able to survive in the wild naked for years on end, even in the coldest of temperatures[1]. And they can subsist exclusively on a diet of marijuana and Baby Jesus' tears.
The Prophecy!
It has been prophesied[1] that Stephen Colbert will swoop down upon the Sierra Club hippies on the back of his feathered son Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle and destroy them once and for all.
