Staphylococcus

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After a thorough examination,
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. has diagnosed you with
Staphylococcus


Staphylococcus is a mysterious disease that occurs when one's humors are the victims of bacterial terrorists.

After a cursory review, the doctor recommends Staphylococcus undergo drastic invasive surgery and perhaps a few more medicines.
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