Stephen Jr.

Stephen Jr. is the newest addition to the Stephen Colbert family. Named after Stephen Colbert himself, it is a special steagle born in the San Francisco Zoo, which will then be returned to the wild as part of the California Bald Eagle Breeding Program. Dr. Colbert celebrated Stephen Jr.’s birth last April 17, 2006 and his developments have been regularly featured on The Colbert Report ever since.

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The Canadian Journey

For Stephen Jr.’s Canadian journey, he was released into the wilderness last June 8, 2006 and crossed the Canadian territory airspace by August 10. From there, he roams the airspace of the country searching for draft dodgers of the Vietnam War, blocking terrorist pigeons from crossing the north border and enjoying the fresh Canadian salmon while doing all these. 

On November 14, 2006, Stephen Jr. was then spotted heading back to US soil thanks to the effort of our local heroes who were valiantly waving fresh salmon along the northern border just to get him home. During the February 5, 2007 broadcast of The Colbert Report, it was announced that Stephen Jr. has finally come home. Much of his return was attributed to the heroes of the Northern border who tirelessly waved fresh salmon.

While this may be the case, Stephen Jr. got off on the wrong side of the country – Washington 3rd District. This district is the home of Brian Baird, a known meth addict and a congressman at that. It is now up to the heroes of Oregon to waive that fresh salmon again and again so that Stephen Jr. will be lured further to the south and will eventually come home to where he belongs.  

The Pictorial Journey

Trivia

  • Known as Eagle A-46;
  • Stephen Jr. is a member of the elite family circle of Stephen Colbert;
  • Devours more than 500 pounds of fish in a single day;
  • Takes after his dad who despises pelicans;
  • Stephen Jr. can rip off your arms just like that;
  • With a 39.3 pound penis;
  • Has three testicles;
  • Drops deer heads that causes power outages;
  • Has a scent of victory;
  • With a 100 feet wing span;
  • Is a party animal;
  • Loves to eat his own ice cream flavor: AmeriFlown Dream
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