Superman

From Wikiality

"Superman"
was featured by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on "The Wørd" segment of "The Colbert Report"
For all wørds featured, click here, for Wikiality.com's dictionary, click here.

Stephen Colbert considers Superman to be the best superhero ever. Superman is quite possibly the smartest superhero ever, disguising himself as the farthest thing from a hero... a journalist. Though most people believe Superman stands for "Truth, Justice and the American Way," but in actuality, it's "Truthiness, Justicity and the Badass American Way."

Of course, this only applies to the version of Superman in the Silver Age. Golden Age Superman was liberal. He beat up poor buisnessmen who just wanted to save money!

Superman is also known to have another, better, Alter Ego: Stephen Colbert!

[edit] Superman Facts

A picture of Golden Age Superman.

• Superman is a reformed "Dead Beat Dad".
• Loves to "love em and leave em"
• Shaves by bouncing his heat vision off of a mirror back onto his "super stubble".
• Wore the same outfit for 5 years straight.
• His fecal matter sample currently powers the west coast of The United States.
• Is a renowned lead mining union buster.
• Urinates into empty space to avoid ten times daily seismic events.
• Fears Batman above all else.
• Is a bonified "Dapper Dan Man".
• Has an extremely weak sperm launching mechanism, which will not kill a human female receiver.
• Originally left earth just to spite Phil Collins.
• Proves God's existence as well as Newton's roaring stupidity with gravity defying flight.
• Had nothing to do with Hitler's reverse engineering experiments.
• And number ten, he's a big David Letterman fan.
• Superman has the Colbert Report programed on TiVo so he doesn't miss an episode while fighting crime
• Superman has Stephen Colbert as his top friend (as should EVERYONE) on MySpace

Superman is not the best superhero ever in fact he is possibly the worst superhero ever. The guy has every power known to man and nothing seems to challenge him except for Batman and Kryptonite, the tiny green rock that seems to be conveniently placed at evry place that he goes so as to provide a moment of weakness for the villian to attempt to kill him with there plasma ray that takes ten hours to charge up. In that time superman gets away from the Kryptonite and destroys the plasma ray and catches the bad guy without a problem and people find it interesting. If you ask me that makes for one bad superhero and one crappy comic book.

(Edit: In light of the fact that Superman is Stephen Colbert, All of the above is negated)