Target

From Wikiality

Target
has been granted full United States "citizenship"
for their donation to Republican causes.
America thanks you, Target

Target (pronounced Tar-JAY) is a classier alternative to Wal-Mart. Their primary color is red, just like the Republicans. Target is where Stephen shops for his basketballs, bear repellent and light-saber batteries.

[edit] Let Freedom Ring Up!

Their bold red bullseye logo might make Target more susceptible to terrorist attacks, but it is also an obvious sign of their support for the troops. If called upon Target stores would bravely go to Iraq and fight evil Al Qaeda convenience stores.

[edit] War On Christmas

A rare blemish on Target's record is their stance in the War On Christmas. In recent years they have taken the side of Our enemies by refusing to allow crippled children to make the only living they can. However, it's possible this was only a desperate attempt to get Stephen's attention.