Tennessee
From Wikiality
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The Great State of TENNESSEE 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Grand Ole Opry |
| State Flower: | Cedar |
| Official Language: | Anglish |
| State Bird: | Cat-Eating-Mockingbird |
| State Motto: | Mountainous on one side and flat on the other. |
| Nickname: | The Parallelogram State |
| Governor: | Elvis Presley |
| State Anthem: | "We don't never ain't sleep with our cousin Bertha?!" |
| Population: | Unknown |
| Standard MPH: | 80-180mph, old folk-2mph |
| Principal imports: | Australian Country Music Stars |
| Principal exports: | Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey |
| Principal industries: | corn snuffin' |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Tennessee is Kentucky's Mexico, and the Laos of the South. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | A small town named Palmyra almost became the capital, but lost by 1 and 1/2 votes. |
Contents |
Discovery
History
Achieving Statehood
Tennessee became a state when George Washington (First Republican and Third greatest President named George.) Thought that North Carolina was getting too long. So he sliced it in the east with his Giant Sword of Awesome (which every Republican President afterward got to wield, for obvious reasons.) and he sliced in the West stopping just before the Gates of Hell that spawned Bill Clinton. It lost its statehood when it joined the Confederacy because, as it explained later, they thought they were fighting the evil Emperor Palpitine and his Clone Army. Plus "everybody else was doing it". After smiting the Confederates with a giant fireball, Abraham Lincoln allowed Tennessee to become a state again (the first of the Redneck Nazi states to do so.) after Elvis pleaded with him all night.
Tennessee Today
It's better than Arkansas........Mississipi......Alabama...
Tennessee Landmarks
There's this one place called "Firey Gizzard" which is what happens when you eat all those little yellow-green peppers that come with those pizzas at once.
Famous Tennessians
J.B. Parker- founder of the Bear lovers, and computer geeks.
A Typical Day In Tennessee
Children of Tennessee often get up in the morning and go to school like any U.S. state, excluding California, Florida, Massachusetts, every other state besides Tennessee, Tennessee,etc. As for adults, many wake up to moonshine, eggs, and Bacon in the morning. Approximately 7% of the state still has a hangover, including you.
Population of Prostitutes Triples
After an ad showing an employee of the street reminding candidate Harold Ford to "call her" aired throughout the state, the population of prostitutes in Tennessee tripled.
Census takers were baffled by the phenomenon and have yet to find an explanation.
