Tennis
From Wikiality
Tennis is a sport played on a "court" with a net between the two opponents.
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[edit] Players
Tennis may be played between 2 people or two teams of 2 players on each team.
When played with only 2 people (one on each side) it is called "singles"; when 4 people play (2 people on each team on either side of the net) it is called "doubles".
Usually, doubles would be played with one man-one woman (called mixed doubles), but because so many lesbians play tennis, they insist on playing with four women on the court at one time, this is called "an abomination".
[edit] Court
Tennis courts rectangular flat surfaces, mostly made of grass, clay, or concrete. The court is usually 78 feet long, with a width of 27 feet for singles matches and 36 feet for doubles matches. A net is stretched across the width of the court dividing it into two equal ends. The net is 3 feet 6 inches high at the ends, but droops down to 3 feet high in the center.
[edit] Who can play
Any hard-core asian kid who gets straight A+'s.
Any white boy who gets rewarded for C+'s and then gets homeschooled because his parents think that he is the greatest.
Any Democrat who gets humiliated by Steven Colbert.
Any Republican.
[edit] Scoring
For Hard-Core Asians - A grain of rice for every time the other person/team misses the ball. A 1-month GameCube penalty if they miss the ball.
For White Boys - A new Xbox 720 if they other person/team misses the ball. An all-you-can-eat buffet and a participant's trophy if they miss the ball.
For Democrats - A vote against George Bush if the other person/team misses the ball. Another humiliation at the hands of Steven Colbert if they miss the ball.
For Republicans - A whole minute of non-heckling by reporters if the other person/team misses the ball. A whole hour of heckling by reporters if they miss the ball.
[edit] Referees
Unlike most sports, tennis referees are too sissy to actually stand or run around ON the court. Rather, they demand to sit on high chairs and referee from there.
[edit] Ball Boys
White boys who have to do community service for stealing golf clubs.
