The Baby Satan
From Wikiality
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The Anti-Baby Jesus is the Anti-Jesus before he is not a baby anymore..
They are immortal enemies, battling for control over every human's soul. When fighting each other directly these battles often result in balling up their tiny fists and squeezing out holy and un-holy shite in an attempt to out-stink the other. But when fighting for our souls, and America! The Baby Jesus uses empathy to win souls; the Baby Satan uses temper tantrums, and usually wins, stealing the souls of those around him.
The baby Satan is supposedly at fault for creating those Godless Killing Machines, the Bears, who are heading to the superbowl this year. Let's hope they don't maul the Colts.
The Baby Satan's main goal in life is to piss off everyone by constantly urinating on them and often eating their fish fingers when not looking. This can be very annoying and often leads people to trying to kill the baby-Satan. This is impossible as he is invisible, and his victims get even more worked up, so he annoys them more, and the circle continues.
The Outcome
Eventually, in one of their battles, the Anti-Baby Jesus is going to shit a shit so shity that even he himself cannot stand the smell of it and is going to pass out for a thousand years. The Baby-Jesus will have been spared from the smell by wearing nose-plugs. He will not suffer any penalties for cheating because he will just forgive himself. Though he will need to wear those nose-plugs for a while we are here talking about a shit so shitty it knocks the Anti-Baby Jesus out and babies can't smell that good already, otherwise they wouldn't have painted the cabbage patch kids with a frown upside down. When the wearing of the nose-plugs is done Baby-Jesus will have gone from walking on water to actually being able to swim and breath in it, though he might start for the water quite early after that shitty shit stank. By this time global warming, the real global warming from the stank not the made up kind will have placed the city of Atlantis; hooker free, casino free, for Baby-Jesus to build up his strength in for when the Anti-Baby Jesus wakes up to smell what a thousand year old diaper smells like. Jesus will also make a magic adult diaper which he will use to soak up the excess run-off of the real global warming.
