The Beatles
From Wikiality
The Beatles were a hippie-rock band that originally consisted of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and occasionally Ringo Starr.
Stephen and the Colberts, Queen, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin are, as dictated by Jesus Christ, the greatest rock bands ever. The Beatles are a distant fifth.
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[edit] Formation
Known communist and Latchkey Kid John "Vladmir" Lenin's career started while he played bongos naked on the sidewalk for fish and chips. This is where he met the rest of the liberals that would eventually form the Beatles, a group of naked bongo players who later put on suits and switched instruments, thus becoming a Satanic hit band.
[edit] Members
The Beatles are known as a quartet, but Stephen Colbert has always considered Martin Luther King as the "fifth Beatle"Episode #378
[edit] Success
Once they put on suits, and began to market themselves as subversive liberals, the Beatles hit it big with members of the Blame America First Crowd in Old Europe, and later, God's Country. As the movement of the Blame America First Crowd was reaching its pinnacle in the 1960s, the commie Beatles were a natural fit for this era.
The Beatles' manager, Elton John, sucessfully marketed the different members of the Beatles to different demographic groups with the Blame American First Crowd. John became known as the evil Beatle, George was the Godless one, Ringo was the Un-American one, and Paul was the cute one.
Due to their immense popularity with the Blame America First Crowd, the Beatles played major venues throughout the world. Impressively, the Beatles staged their last major concert on the Moon during the Moon landing, which may or may not have happened.
[edit] Downfall and Break-up
Before their height God requested multiple times that he replace Ringo Starr of The Beatles, John Lennon thus denied his wishes causing God to brainwash him forcing him to denounce the Baby Jesus and said that the Beatles could whip him in a fight. This allowed God to force a wrath upon them. Rather than plague the Beatles, with beetles, God mandated that the Beatles could no longer travel and tour.
Exacerbating the Beatles troubles was the fact that, shortly after John's brainwashed Baby Jesus comments, Paul disappeared and was presumed dead. Although the remaining members of the Beatles moved quickly to replace Paul with the Walrus, things only got more troublesome for them.
John soon met and married Yoko Ono, the illegitimate half-sister of Ann Coulter. Yoko's liberalism and sensuality was so blistering that she caused a permanent rift between the remaining members of the Beatles. Unable to withstand the sexual tension that resulted from being in close proximity to Yoko, the Beatles opted to break-up.
[edit] Cultural Legacy
- Brainwashed a whole generation of hippies to grow long hair, do drugs, become Serial Killers, and vote for Democrats.
[edit] Musical Legacy
- None.
[edit] Songs
Their un-influential songs include:
