Cast of Friends

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Cast of Friends
is "Dead To Me" ("Me" being Stephen Colbert)
Cast of Friends should be dead to you, too.

They know what they did. Even Chandler (see Image Credit, below). That changes nothing Bing.

The cast of friends is a group of ridiculously pointless people who happen to be gay and communists.

[edit] Matt Leblanc

Matt Leblanc is obviously French with a name like that, therefore, he is a democrat, a communist, a bear, and a terrorist. He is probably going to fly a plane into the Empire State Building some day; what kind of a monster would do that? A member of the cast of friends would!

[edit] Lisa Kudrow

Lisa Kudrow is a crazy lady who dies her hair blond, even though she has brown hair. Incidentally, how the hell does a Jew have blond hair? She, too, is French, and while her Judaism makes her bad, her Frenchness makes her worse.

[edit] Matthew Perry

Matthew Perry is a huge ass hole. (No, really. He actually is. Sorry "Chandlerites," but sometimes 'Truthiness' hurts.) Not only is he incredibley depressing, he's a Canadian and an Ottawa Senators fan to boot! While the author admits he is a Canadian, he notes that Matthew Perry is the bad sort, one that doesn't realize the United States is greater than Canada in every single way. Shame on you Matthew Perry. You make Jesus cry. If you act fast, you may still get to watch Matthew on "Studio 30 Rock" as he tackles his "dream role," pretending to be a "tortured TV comedy writer" without having to keep an actual TV comedy writer's hours! The show's on NBC, right after-- Oops. Too late!

[edit] Jennifer Aniston

I won't even get into what she's done. The beautiful luster of her famous hair obtains its sheen with a bong resin conditioner flown over from Amsterdam in diplomatic bags. She is the second cast memeber of "Friends" who is able to wiggle her nipples. (Frequent guest-star Elliot Gould being the other.)

[edit] Courtney Cox

She is Courtney Arquette in my mind. Only liberals hyphenate their names.

[edit] David Schwimmer

David Schwimmer plays a character who believes in evolution. As we all know, God created the world in one instant, a few thousand years ago. But this man poisons babies' minds until they believe that evolution is true. This superstar thespian "brings it" in his forthcoming feature film "Meerkat Patrol!" where he plays one of Greg Kinnear's jealous brothers. Followed by his fifthcoming feature "My Own Funeral," where Schwimmer plays Matthew McConaughey's estate lawyer.