The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 291

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[edit] Production Info

Previous Episode


Date: July 31, 2007 Season:
Episode: 291 Production code: 3098
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[edit] Intro

  • To Russia, With Love
"Russia lays claim to the North Pole and several dissenting sea lions have been mysteriously poisoned"
  • A.G., Your Hair Smells Perjurious
"Plus, democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury maybe he'll be sentenced to a round of golf with Scooter Libby"
  • Beat Townsend
"Plus my guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is here to talk about what happens when you mix politics and religion. I'm no scholar, but I'll guess is: poligen? "


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''Mi casa es su casa ...casa means 'anger', right? This is The Colbert Report.
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~ Stephen Colbert
July 31, 2007 The Colbert Report


Contents

[edit] World Events

  • Dr. Colbert's mind-boggling pain from his wrist injury
    • vicodin tastes like Smarties
  • Epidemic of Wrist Violence
    • no discrimination
    • foot wrist (ankle)
  • Hollywood's Glamorization of Wrist Violence
    • not entertainment
    • write congress to tell them to stop Hollywood's insidious wrist-hating

[edit] Real Estate

  • swamp land
  • bridges
  • indian burial grounds
  • Artict circle
    • fish
    • diamonds
    • oil and natural gas
    • shipping lines
  • "Arc Who Goes There"
  • "Smoking Poles"
  • deploy undersea army of hermit crabs
  • keep control of Christmas with US

[edit] Alberto Gonzales

  • Leahy and Schumer
    • FOX invited White House

[edit] The Wørd

[edit] Breaking News From Chicago

(The mob has sympathy wrist bandages)

WSJ has been sold to Rupert

GOOD NEWS for the economy WSJ will only report good news for the economy

[edit] Sports Report

Happy Birthday Barry Bonds!

performance enhancement should not be criticized

Victory in Iraq

  • indisputable victory
    • Asia Cup victor over Saudi Arabia (3 time champ)
  • dog racing
    • Stephen Colbert, the racing greyhound

[edit] Interview

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[edit] Reviews and Comments

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