The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 308

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Production Info

Previous Episode

Date:
September 13, 2007

Season:

Episode:
308

Production code:
3115

Next Episode

The Check-In

Stephen discusses presenting the award for Best Shemale In A Comedy Series during this weekend's Emmy Awards with his Jew friend.

Intro

Are You There, God? It's Me, Mother Teresa.

"It turns out Mother Teresa doubted the existence of God. Boy did she have a bad career counselor."

Winged Victory

"Plus, this is my last show before the Emmys. If I win, my last show ever; I'm gonna start shouting in films."

Green Ed and Ham

"Then, my guest Ed Begley, Jr. has a show that tells you how to live green. Here's a great way to conserve electricity: don't watch his show."

The opinions expressed in this broadcast do not reflect the opinions of Comedy Central, MTV Networks or the Viacom Corporation because they're all cowards! This is The Colbert Report.

~ Stephen Colbert

September 13, 2007 The Colbert Report

Emmys

Stephen is up for more awards
- 3 emmys
- 2 peabodys
- Doctorate from Knox College
- Hawaiian Punch Can Opener
- Bridges
- Eagles
- ice creams
- Junior Hockey League Mascot
Manilow Flashbacks
Tony Bennett (real name Anthony Dominick Benedetto)

Mother Teresa

no airport bathrooms
1/3 of her life (50 years) not sensing the spirit of God in her life
God exists because he bowls making thunder
- Christopher Hitchens
- Father James Martin

Wrist Watch

WristStrong Bracelet
- Yellow Ribbon Fund
Papa Bear
Where In The World Is Matt Lauer's WristStrong Bracelet?
- Mahmoud Achmeni-MoreFamousThanMattLauer-idad

Interview

Ed Begley Jr.
- environmentalism
- hemp

Epilogue

Presidential candidates might include Stephen (his face belongs on money) but he cannot throw his hat into the ring, all his hats are very expensive. He is, however looking for a sign.

A strange man gave Stephen a great new letter opener.