The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 381
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[edit] Production Info
| Date: April 16, 2008 | Season: | Episode: 381 | Production code: 3188 |
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[edit] Intro
~ Stephen Colbert April 16, 2008 The Colbert Report
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The Stephen Colbert Dorito's Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live From Chili-delphia, The City of Brotherly Crunch |
[edit] Fair And Balanced
- on yesterday's show, Dr. Colbert stated that, as First Lady, Michelle Obama would be like Jackie O.
- In the interests of being fair and balanced, Dr. Colbert said,
- Cindy McCain would also make a fine Jackie O
- and so would Bill Clinton
- as long as Chanel comes in plus sizes
[edit] Sidekick Banter
- Stephen reminds The Heroes that his sidekick, Ben Franklin was known for his aphorisms, he then asked Ben to hit him with a proverb:
- "Men and melons are hard to know."
- melons were a bigger deal back in Ben's day
- Stephen then asked Ben if he wrote that Hang In There 'Til Friday with the kitten hanging from the branch
- Ben said he didn't
- Stephen said, too bad, he wishes he could get that guy on the show
[edit] Barack Obama & Hillary Clinton's Epic Battle
- Stephen believes they are both qualified to destroy the democrat party and would make a dream ticket
[edit] Pope Is In America!
- Christmas came early this year: The Pope is in America!
- met with President Bush
- the two leaders of the most powerful theocracies in the world
- Stephen has trouble telling them apart:
- they're both infallible
- they both did things when they were younger that they wish people would forget
- one was a cheerleader, the other Nazi Youth (it's a fine line)
- Dr. Colbert heard about the Pope's trip to America in Pontiff Beat Magazine
- Stephen can no longer hide his excitement, he's Popeing A Chubby
- The Pope is here for his birthday!
- Stephen sand the birthday song to him:
- "Felicem Natalem Diem
- Felicem Natalem Diem
- O Care Popa Benedictum Sextus Decimus
- Felicem Natalem Diem"
- Then Stephen wished him "Et Pluri Mas!"
- Stephen admired the Pope's youthful glow and reminded his teen viewers that's what they'll get with a lifetime of abstinence
[edit] Sidekick Banter 2
- Stephen asked Ben, what his enlightened deist friends thought of the Pope
- Ben said as ambassador to France, he had intimate dealings with Catholics
- Stephen asked Ben if he was talking about French Whores
- Ben grinned maniacally, and said "yes!"
- Ben Franklin is the Founding Father of one country...that he knows of
[edit] Democrat's Debate
- like ultimate fighting, but with more pantsuits
- Democralypse Now
[edit] Journey To Enlightenment
- Part 2
- Dr. Colbert visits Constitution
CentreCenter
[edit] Interview
[edit] Epilogue
- Ben is the newest Eagle Cheerleader!
- Stephen is looking forward to seeing him in short-shorts
[edit] Gallery
This is an abbreviated gallery. For the full gallery, click here
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