The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 405

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Production Info

Previous Episode


Date:
June 5, 2008 		Season:
Image:Season4.png 		Episode:
405 		Production code:
4074
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Intro

  • Mr. Colbert's Opus
"I give advice to college graduates! Or at least that's my excuse for showing up at frat parties!"
  • Athletic Reporter
"Plus, I take a look at the wide world of sports! Thanks to steroids, it's gotten a lot wider!"
  • Pat The Pundit
"Then, my guest, Pat Buchanan, has a new book! It will accidentally be purchased by thousands of elderly Jews!"


Image:Flag_quote_open_clear2.gif
I regret that I have but one life to give!
I WANT MORE LIVES!
This is The Colbert Report.
Image:Flag_quote_close_clear2.gif
~ Stephen Colbert
June 5, 2008 The Colbert Report


Contents

Nation Was Riveted to TV

  • The Andromeda Strain
    • left-wing anti-government scare movies
  • Dr. Colbert was mentioned!
  • official, Stephen is Number One even during fictional movies
  • how does the virus effect Wilf Blitzer's beard?
  • does Tucker get his show back?

Commencement Season

  • Seton Hall-Tony Snow
  • Yale- Tony Blair
  • Princeton- Stephen Colbert!!!1!
    • elites wanted Stephen for advice how to run their lives
  • Addressing the class of 2008 everywhere, the last class to graduate with George W. Bush as president
  • Tonight's Word: Oh, The Places You'll Stay

Sport Report

  • unlike most athletes, Stephen doesn't need HGH to give him a big head
  • America lost dominance in Timber Sports
  • America's best hope: Mike Forrester


Interview

  • Pat Buchanan
    • one of the fathers of shout TV, thanks dad!
  • book: Unnecessary War
    • the title might anger his strongest constituency, elderly Jews
  • Churchill is Bush's hero
  • implying Bush makes mistakes
  • coming war with Iran is necessary, because war in Iraq isn't polling well

Epilogue

Folks, that's it for The Report, good night.

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