The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 448

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Production Info

Previous Episode


Date:
September 17, 2008 		Season:
Image:Season4.png 		Episode:
448 		Production code:
4117
Next Episode


The Check-In

  • Dr. Colbert is once again interrupted by His Jewish Friend while suffering from a headache.
  • He's not in the mood.
  • There was a few tense moments, where His Jewness tried to pressure Stephen into doing the toss.
  • But, when Stephen went to sleep, Stewart shouted that he would go in the back and do the toss himself.

Intro

  • Old AIG
"John McCain responds to the growing economic crisis by suggesting America marry a really rich woman!"
  • Osama Bin Hiding
"And, is there a new way to catch Osama bin Laden!? I've got a great idea involving an anvil and a pile of "Bin Laden Seed"!"
  • Luts and Volts
"Then, I sit down with GM vice-chairman, Bob Lutz to talk about GM's new electric car! Forty-thousand triple "A" batteries not included!"


Image:Flag_quote_open_clear2.gif
Hey, Liquid Paper! Your bottle should say you don't work on computer screens!
This is The Colbert Report!
Image:Flag_quote_close_clear2.gif
~ Stephen Colbert
September 17, 2008 The Colbert Report


Contents

Day Three Market Correction

  • Dr. Colbert is not panicking, John McCain is on the case
    • got flack for saying "the fundamentals of our economy are strong"
      • then saying three hours later they are at risk
  • like a musclman who refuses to wear a condom
    • what's the worse thing that could happen?
  • Obama called Sarah Palin an ugly hog
  • watch their parents doing it doggy style
    • McCain is picking up steam
      • rising up from a pile of steaming pile
  • McCain had no choice to release mudslinging dirty ads
    • Obama should have accepted invitations
      • Emily Post 101
        • when some one refuses an invitation: obliged to destroy you with brutal and bald faced lies
  • McCain
    • harvest the organs of sleeping toddlers
    • inject in his taint with Red Bull
    • determines to run a campaign of straight talk and decency

Anniversary of 9/11

  • Tonight's word: Powerless
    • Dana Perino, why Bin Laden is still at large
      • President Bush has not been given super powers
  • America has not given President Bush super powers
  • lock him in room with:
    • radioactive spider
    • Fly DNA
    • scientist hell-bent on developing super soldier
  • Extra Sensible Perception
    • ability to find a guy in Iraq when he is hiding in Afghanistan
  • Bush has never been more than a mere mortal chosen by God to defeat America's enemies!

McCain's Campaign Slogan

  • "Country First"
    • putting America before our own personal needs
    • not alphabetically by bombing Afghanistan, Albania, Abkhazia and Algeria
  • "Brad" got drunk at a Yankees game and chose to go pee during the singing of God Bless America
    • going number one, thereby making America number two
  • Yankee fans show pride in your by staying put when God Bless America plays
    • oversized foam fingers are absorbent


Interview

  • Bob Lutz
    • talk about GM's new electric car, which Dr. Colbert hopes electrocutes anyone who tries to steal his gas
  • corporate mogul
  • grand mason
    • controlling the world economy
  • came to shill The Volt
    • should call it the Chevy Gore
  • capitulating to the global warmists
    • doesn't believe it is man-caused, it is sun-spot activity
  • will go 40 miles
    • but not 40 miles extension cord
  • lithium ion battery
    • not enterprise's anti-matter converter
    • or high school potato-battery technology

Man Talk

  • change one's attitude away from burning rubber
  • will it get you laid
    • perhaps, by changing the woman who is attracted, more crunchier
  • may be able to pimp it
  • can be charged using the cigarette lighter from a Hummer
  • gave Dr. Colbert one
    • it's very tiny

Epilogue

  • Dr. Colbert was just looking through an old photo album from the 1980's
    • he regrets not having the time to put any photos in it
  • changed his name to Corey so he could hang out with the Brat Pack
  • terms of the restraining order have expired
  • Charlene may not be getting enough potassium in her diet
    • Dr. Colbert didn't find any banana peals in her garbage

Gallery

Motherload Videos

External Tubes

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Reviews and Comments

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