The DeGeneres Paradox
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The Degeneres Paradox[1] (scientific phenomenon)
Describes one's place on the Gaydar Spectrum. Specifically, The Degeneres Paradox addresses the confused state arising when a heterosexual man (with repressed homosexual tendencies) feels attracted to a lesbian, but only when she dances.
N.B. This can only be determined when both the Heisenberg-uncertainty Principle and the Observer Effect have been taken into account[1].
| Values on the Gaydar Spectrum (Figure 1.) 
| |
|---|---|
| 0: | Definitely Not Gay |
| 1: | Ex-Gay |
| 2: | Maybe Gaybe |
| 3: | Delusions of Gaydeur |
| 4: | Ambiguously Gay |
| 5: | Closetly Gay |
| 6: | Gay Friendly |
| 7: | Pretty Darn Gay |
| 8: | Way Gay |
| 9: | Dangerously Gay |
| 10: | UberGay |
- GIVEN A male is heterosexual[1]. This places him at the bottom of the Gaydar Spectrum with his GL value at a definite 0 (zero).
- GIVEN This male has latent homosexual tendencies[1], as he finds himself attracted to other males[1]. The value of his GL[1] will now depend upon which other males he finds himself attracted to.
- GIVEN This male is suddenly exposed to a female. This exposure reduces his attraction to those males most likely to cause a shift in his Gaydar Spectrum readings[1].
- GIVEN The female turns out to be a lesbian[1].
- GIVEN The lesbian begins to dance. Suddenly, the male realizes an increasing desire for the lesbian[1]
- NIXO-FACTO the male in question finds himself in The DeGeneres Paradox.
The Effects of Uncertainty and Observation on The DeGeneres Paradox
- Heisenberg-uncertainty Principle (HuP) states that as the certainty of a single particle's location is increased, the certainty of the particle's momentum is decreased, and vice-versa.
- Observer Effect (OE) states that the act of observing a phenomenon can alter it.
- Together, the HuP and the OE can cause great confusion in humans attempting to discern their personal sexuality[1].
The value of the sexuality of any given human is measured on the Gaydar Spectrum (see Figure 1.) in two distinct dimensions:
- where it is on the spectrum (its location or "GL")
- and how quickly it moves toward another value (its momentum "GM").
According to the HeP, the speed it is moving and exactly where it is is uncertain. To further complicate the calculation, when a human attempts to analyze either value, or when a human realizes a change may have (or is) occuring, the OE alters both the GL and the GM of the human's sexuality, making calculations almost impossible.
