Dixie Chicks
From Wikiality
Like the sirens of ancient myth, the Dixie Chicks are songstresses that entice men to their doom. Their songs contain a hidden message, which hypnotize weak-minded people, aka liberals, and convince them that presidential term limits should be repealed, allowing Bill Clinton to once again be elected to our nation's highest office.
Any good, right-thinking American would shutter his ears from these creatures and promptly phone his favorite Country music station to ask for an all-out ban of their quote-unquote music. He would then promptly request the song Why Don't We Get Drunk (and Screw) and ask to be entered into the contest for two free tickets to Sunday's tractor pull.
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Dixie Chicks Trivia
- The Dixie Chicks' lead singer, Natalie Maines, is freakishly ugly.
- The band Genesis, which is about the Bible and is thus really good, recommended that The Dixie Chicks should do a cover of their hit single, I Can't Dance. They should also add the verses about how they can't sing, they can't sell CD's, they can't sell concert tickets (except in "Blue States" and Europe), and they can't stand by our president (unlike Tammy Wynett, who DOES stand by her man - not matter how big a total asshole he is!).
The Dixie Chicks are the love children of Osama Bin Laden and Sadam Hussien.
- some of their most popular CD's include: "We hate our troops, Our President and we damn sure hate America." and "John Kerry is a true American Hero."
- May belong to Bono's Bonoschtapo
- They're currently at war with American Hero, Toby Keith, obviously attempting to extinguish the flame of truthiness that is his country music career!
Monsters of Terror
The Dixie Chicks were the opening act for the Monsterz of Terror 2006 Tour.
2007 Grammy Awards
The Dixie Chicks won 5 Grammys, including Record of the Year and Album of the Year, but rudely neglected to thank all the terrorists who helped make their artistic vision a reality in their acceptance speeches.
Acceptance Speech Highlights
- "Not ready to make nice."
- "No regrets."
- "Ha ha."
The Dixie Chicks aren't the country-pop group we all used to hate for criticizing the President, they are the President now. Thank you for supporting the Troop Surge girls.
See Also
