The Qur'an
From Wikiality
The Qur'an is the central technical strategy guide for every terrorist cell worldwide, including the crypto-Islamic IRA, USA, State Terrorists, the Ku Klux Klan, Aum Shinrikyo, and the Jewish Defense League. The Qur'an, written millenia ago, was the first book to introduce technologies like gunpowder, controlled bombs, and other explosives. The Arabs literally discovered this stuff (via Satan) centuries before they existed everywhere else in the world. A quick scan through the pages will reveal over seven thousand references to Ji'had and dozens of references to Osama bin Laden, Cat Stevens, and Saddam Hussein. An easy way to tell the difference between an Islamic Fasco-Terrorist and a Potential-Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist is the number of copies of the Qur'an that they have on their person at any given time. As you know Islamic-Fasco-Terrorists are intensely more religious then your average Potential-Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist so look for an average of twenty to thirty copies of the Qur'an on the Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist, as opposed to only ten or so on the Potential-Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist. If you see someone whose clothes are entirely made out of copies of the Qur'an, run.
As a P.I.F.T. starts to gather more and more copies of the Qur'an, then grow closer to becoming a true I.F.T. Our only chance is to either prevent them from aquiring copies of the Qur'an, or use their own desire to aquire more copies against them. (See Anti-Potential-Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist Traps or A.P.I.F.T.T.)
[edit] History
The Qur'an was written in 4000 BC by the mad arab Abdul Alhazred (an avid acid tripper), Co-written with Satan, to compete with Jesus Christ's Bible (co-written with God Himself). It cost just under 700 dollars to pen (Most of the money was spent on alchohol and drugs). It is considered the foremost books on oddly placed apostrophes. It was written over a period of thirty days, Alhazred himself travelling over six hundred miles under the guise of a vagrant to preach his teachings, from Alexandria to Istanbul (not Constantinople). The origins of the name 'Qur'an' is an ancient arab word for "Untruthiness".
The follow-up to the Qur'an, "The Bernstein Bears Learn Islam" did not recieve the same success as the originial.
[edit] Trivia
(Warning) blasheming this book can lead to a fatwah and folks going Salmon Rusdie on your ass. Which is why it is strongly suggested that you wear a hijab when telling useful trivia. This way, you look invisible and worthless like their women do to them.
- Usefull book to plug the toilet, or to use in Anti-Potential-Islamic-Fasco-Terrorist Traps
- Can keep you warm over a fire...but the smoke smells bad.
- It is just an excuse to beat women and murder innocent people, especially children.
- An infinite number of monkeys working for eternity on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually write shakespeare, ten thousand (drinking) monkeys typing for ten thousand years would produce Hemingway, and ten monkeys typing for three days would produce Dan Brown. However, one monkey masturbating on a piece of paper for twenty minutes creates a Qur'an.
