United States Democratic Party/Democrats
From Wikiality
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A democrat is a member of the political party that hates America. Primarily composed of Gays, Bears, Minorities, and the French and former Communists who thought that communism
was not Communist enough.
Democrats have a variety of radical beliefs, all of which are obvious attempts to overthrow democracy in America and allow communism and totalitarianism to reign supreme. As well, the democratic party is only a front for the commie liberal party.
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Weaknesses
Though Democrats are believed to be un-dead man-eaters that rule the night, they are vulnerable to certain things. Stephen Colbert (or anything that Stephen Colbert has touched, mentioned, or associated with in any way) is deadly to Democrats, but they can also be slain with silver, garlic, truthiness, sensible legislation, logic, border control, or the greatest President ever ever ever, George W. Bush.
Core Beliefs
Democrats have the following core beliefs:
- 9/11 was a fiction contrived by the Republicans to increase the price of oil and enrich President Cheney, as they propagate it here
- The constitution matters more than Gods word
- The United States and Israel are the primary sources of all evil in the world
- Islamists are good because they believe that the destruction of American civilization will benefit the downtrodden proletariat
- Islamists are bad because they are religious and believe in God
- The right to own a house and two cars, and not to have to pay for them, are implied in the The United States Constitution
- The purpose of the Federal government is to transfer wealth from those who have everything to those who only eat Government Cheese
- Denial of God's righteous vengeance in sending Hurricane Katrina to cleanse New Orleans
- Stem cells are not human beings, contrary to the source of all America's laws: the Bible
- Democrats will tax your hard earned money to kill babies.
- Barbara Streisand has talent
- Blaming America First
- The right to have sex with interns
- A ruling class composed of feminists like Hilary Clinton.
- Voting is for women, immigrants and Janet Reno.
- Be lazy fatcats and crumbumbs. For example when they won the 2006 midterm elections they already got us, "stuck in Iraq" twelve seconds after they won
- The right to gay marriage, gay adoption, and worst of all, gay drivers' licenses.
- Eating babies
- Hating God
- Women's Rights
- Cutting and running like spineless cowards
- McDonalds makes you fat,... OH WAIT!!! It Does!!
- Waiting for Republicans to come up with ideas and rejecting them
- Being wrong and crude about it
New slogan for 2008
In an effort to maintain the gains made in 2006 the Democrat party is rolling out a new ad campaign.
Upset that other people have more money than you? We will take their money by force and give it directly to you instead. Go ahead and buy that new living room set, your healthcare is on us.
Concerned about the civil rights of terrorists? We will fight to make sure every terrorists civil rights are protected and that they always have a lawyer present while being coddled.
Sick of being employed? We will change labor law and the tax code to such a degree that no company will ever want to set up shop here.
Want America to lose the war on terror? We will pull out of Iraq with no concern for the costs or consequences of doing so.
Tired of god fearing, monogamous, nuclear families? We will let anyone marry anything. Want to see a pig marry three men? We’ll make it happen. Want to see the will of the voters overturned and watch a son marry his mother? We can help.
184 years of hurting America.
Known Democrats
- John Kerry
- Judas
- Barack Obama
- Michael Moore
- Hilary Clinton
- super delegates
- Satan
- John Edwards
- The Dixie Chicks
- The Grinch
- Mark David Chapman
- Most poisonous snakes
- Jon Stewart
- Most feralized WikiNerds
