User:Thisniss/mess

Send Stephen Colbert a birthday card, courtesy of Wikiality.com!

May 13, 1964: Great day? Or The Greatest Day Ever? It needs must follow that it is the latter, seeing as how this was the very day upon which the great Stephen Colbert issued forth from his mother's blessed womb. He is the only person in the 6000 year history of America's Planet to have been born on this day.

... Stephen Colbert's Birthday is now a national holiday in seventeen countries. Diplomatic and surge-ical inquiries have been made into why the other 326 countries haven't gotten their sh*t together... read more

From the author of I Am America (And So Can You!), writer Stephen Colbert has done it again with I Am America (And So Can You!) literary masterpiece was released to breathless, sweaty crowds of heroic fans on October 9, 2007 after months of pants-wetting anticipation. I Am America (And So Can You!) sold 19.5 million copies within its first hour of release, and soon forced even the liberal factinistas at The New York Times to recognize its book-selling dominance with placement atop their so-called "Best Sellers" list for best-selling books.

But who needs a newspaper to tell you what your gut already knows? Americans around the globe have already proclaimed I Am America (And So Can You!) the greatest critical and commercial success in the history of non-Biblical books (and audiobooks - remember, you don't get inflection in the print format, so you need to buy them both!). However, Stephen will not consider his work anything more than a financial success until everyone who buys it becomes America. The words of I Am America (And So Can You) must cover the Earth, spreading Stephen's book-based plans for world domination.

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David Vitter
Party	Republican
Birth	May 3, 1961
Birthplace	Heaven
Religion	Christian
Occupation	Real American
Spouse	Wendy
Super Powers	Being forgiven by God.
Fun Rumor #1	Likes to wear a diaper while receiving deep tissue massage.

David Vitter is the All-American junior Senator from the state of Louisiana. Vitter was hailed as a hero for saving countless lives after Hurricane Katrina. David Vitter courageously stood with brass balls and corrected the press by stating:

"In the metropolitan area in general, in the huge majority of areas, it's not rising at all. It's the same or it may be lowering slightly."

Who knows what flood of lies the liberal media might have unleashed had Senator Vitter not acted on his gut when he did. Vitter understood the failure of the government to respond to this disaster, and hopes it will apologize to Our President soon.

[edit] People Mr. Vitter Does Not May Actually Know

• Deborah Palfrey

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Flag Day is a patriotic American holiday celebrated on June 14, during which a scrap of cloth is worshiped like an idol. It is a celebration of the American Flag's superiority over all other flags, which is a metaphor for America's superiority over everyone else. This day is also known as "Fourth of July, Jr."

Flag day was invented by the Founding Fathers less than a year after the first Independence Day because they knew that America is the Greatest Country in the World, and would naturally have the Greatest Flag in the World. Flag day was officially declared a national holiday by the First Continental Congress. Their original intent had included adding a clause to Constitution making every day a national holiday celebrating something American (i.e. the American Flag on Flag Day, Apple Pie on Apple Pie Day, Hummers on Hummer Day)...

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"Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law" is a live-action cartoon docudrama Television show that focuses on the life of Harvey Birdman, a superhero who had a brief 15 minutes of fame as a performer on Birdman and the Galaxy Trio, a television show produced by Hanna-Barbera during America's Dark Age, the 60's.

[edit] Legal Career

Even though Birdman was known to have a somewhat prickly personality, it was believed that his other talents (e.g., the ability to shoot solar beams from his hands) might prove useful in a court of law. In addition, while he was not licensed to practice law, nor possessed of any experience in jurisprudence per se, his apparent vanity and lack of ethics more than qualified him for the position. (more...)

Even the Greatest President Ever agrees that America's health care system could be better. But he knows exactly what is wrong with it, too.

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Though he hails from a Republic, he is by no means a Republican, although he does share the sentiments of fellow citizen Georgius of Portui Novae. It is said that his Roman Catholic nature is so overwhelming that even lions dare not savage him....

In fear of STEPHANVS truthy numina, a last ditch effort to dishonor him was made by Punditex Maximus Jvhlius Stewartvs the Jew. The first salvo was a harsh criticism of STEPHANVS' close ally and friend, Geraldvs Rivervs the Jew.

This was the last straw, and STEPHANVS was finally forced to take action against his rivals. Marching his innumerable, fanatical legions across the Republicon River, he famously stated, "There's no accounting for taste," and chiseled Stewartus into his On Notice Tabula...read more

The junior Senator from New York has shamed herself once again by going out in public and trying to do a man's job!

CORNPONE, IOWA, November 12, 2007--Never before in the history of our great nation has anyone ever done anything so insidious as what Mrs. Clinton tried to pull during a recent townhall meeting in Iowa!

THE SHAME

Wikiality.com learned that former Philander in Chief, Bill Clinton allowed his wife out of the house to get a job - and now she's trying to get another one!

Once out of the house Mrs. Clinton began acting out by:

• wearing slacks and not skirts!
• cutting her hair instead of wearing it according to Biblical fashion!

While out auditioning for this new job, Mrs. Clinton fraudulently and with malice of forethought tricked a young female Iowan to ask her a question of dubious nature!

This is treasonous!

Mrs. Clinton, we at Wikiality.com ask that you refrain from forcing your views on young impressionable American Children with your so-called "townhall meetings", especially if you coerce them to participate only if they do things your way! (read more...) </blog>

Freedom is what the terrorists hate about us.

If you have to look up what freedom is, you are probably either a terrorist or a liberal.

[edit] The Word Itself

Freedom (pronounced FREEEEEEEEDOM! if you are Mel Gibson) was invented by America, therefore we get to decide who is free and who isn't. Thanks to America's charitable nature, America and its military love to spread freedom to those who deserve it (See: Iraq).

[edit] Freedom Paper

Another facet of freedom is money and the free market. Those who have more money have more freedom, as expressed in "Worthington's Law." This explains the position of the United States as the free-est country in the world.

Unfortunately, terrorists hate the free market, and therefore hate freedom. America has been trying to give freedom to its new friends around the world, but the terrorists are making that very difficult because they keep blowing up our heroes and burning our American Flags. But America will win, because we can use our freedom to buy more flags and more weapons, to invade more countries, and just generally to be more freeish.

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