User:YetiCGN

From Wikiality

[edit] Intro

Hallo zusammen, and hey everybody from Germany!

This bear-hating sasquatch-esque creature is currently roaming the urban plains of Cologne (that's where the CGN in my username comes from, it's IATA code, b*tch!). Born and raised in Germany, but that just has been a test of my loyalty towards the One True Nation. Although I'm living in an un-American timezone, I'm a Colbertican by heart.

What enrages me the most right now, besides liberals, communists and bears? That I Am America (And So Can You!) will not be here until October 24, might even take until November 1! Talk about torture!!

Update: Wow! Signs and wonders, everybody! Amazon just sent me an e-mail that my copy of IAA(ASCY!) is shipping!!! Ceeelebrate good times, come on!

[edit] Factiness

Birth Class of 1982
Hard working citizen (currently writing my diploma thesis)
Reborn believer (Pentecostal)
Married w/o children
Owns guinea pigs
Always wanted to name his company "Uschi and the 11 Virgins", but stuck with "stiu" (Romanian for I know but without the I ...)
Center-right voter
Founder and only member of "Germans for Hillary Clinton 2008" (after "Germans for Clark 2004" failed miserably)

[edit] Cinematographic truthiness from Germany

David Hasselhoff singing "Doooooo"

Lyrics: "Doooo, doo aline kunst mish fa-shtain! Dooooo, doo durft knee mair von meer gayn!" (You, you alone can understand me. You, you must never leave me.) Oliver Kalkofe is talking about David's Medusa-like breast hair, his almost exploding neck vains and how he doesn't understand a word of this song but he is shouting it out loud anyway. A lot of idioms in there that make it impossible to translate.

Is it German? Is it American? Who nose...

Translation: Todd Coburn: "Hello, I am Todd Coburn and I'm now going to present to you all the top stories from the American sports leagues. Let's start with Michael Jordan. For a week now the basketball world has been speculating about his comeback to basketball. Officially he stopped playing baseball, too. But the question is, can a Michael Jordan live without sports?"

Oliver Kalkofe: "Hidyhow, I am Oliver Kalkofe und ich komme auch aus Amerika. Mit dem lunatic exchange program. Jawohl. Dieses Jahr ist es sehr goofy and I look like crap and I am stupid like white bread. Ich weiß. Aber I got a starken Akzent und many colorful pictures in the Hintergrund und absolut no idea of nichts, was I am talking about. Aber trotzdem, ich bekomme viel Geld und das ist wirklich verdammt cool. Gott schütze Amerika."