Vermont
From Wikiality
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The "Great" State of VERMONT 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Montpelier |
| State Flower: | Supple Virgin |
| Official Languages: | Hick farmer |
| State Bird: | Rape Hawk |
| State Car: | Volvo station wagon |
| State Motto: | Forever 69ing New Hampshire |
| Nickname: | Gateway to Montreal |
| Governor: | Jim Douglas |
| State Anthem: | Casey Jones- The Grateful Dead |
| Population: | Est. 354 |
| Standard MPH: | 69 |
| Principal imports: | Canadian Communism, Taxachusetts Gayhood |
| Principal exports: | Cow manure and Howard Dean |
| Principal industries: | Patchouli oil manufacturing |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Howard Dean is actually Satan's First Cousin |
| Fun Fact # 2: | The People of Vermont killed your childhood pets, including fish. |
Vermont is one the gayest states in the union, but this is largely due to the fact that it is bordered on one side by Gaysreal and the other by Canada. A state can't help but be gay with that kind of double-ended action going on. It is also the birthplace of Howard Dean, aka Spawn of Satan.
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[edit] Discovery
Discovered by Cheech, Chong, and the Green Mountain Boys in 1978.
[edit] History
After it's discovery in the late 1970's it became a safe haven for hash smoking hippies who filled their mouths with mouths with Ben and Jerry's first flavor of ice cream, psilocybin mushrooms, and filled their heads dreams of a socialistic utopia. This lasted until in the early 1980's when Ronald Regan brought together a militia of New Hampshire's best marksmen to take the land.
[edit] Achieving Statehood
[edit] Vermont Today
It doesn't matter what Vermont is today, because Vermont should be dead to everyone here. Socialist sympathizers. Vermont is famous for tree-hugging maple sap suckers.
[edit] Vermont Landmarks
The giant solid gold statue of Bernie Sanders and Howard Dean hugging each other, because they love them so much.
[edit] Famous Vermontarians
Bernie Sanders- America's first ever Socialist Senator. So Vermont, expect to be put on Stephen's dead to me list very soon. How dare you elect a socialist instead of a republican. You'll probably get a wag of the finger too.
[edit] A Typical Day in Vermont
- Wake up.
- Drink coffee mixed with moonshine, beer, and homemade wine.
- Go deer hunting, even though it's out of season and illegal.
- Work on an unrepairable Ford truck from the 70's.
- Chop wood for the coming winter.
- Milk cows.
- Talk about how much they hate them city folk.
- Watch Channel 3 News.
- Wish they hadn't gotten drunk and knocked up some fat chick, being forced to marry them or get drunk and knocking up some fat cousin, being forced to marry them, but didn't mind marrying them, yes, incest.
- Pray to the gay child of Allah and Satan, Toby Keith.
- Fall asleep to the sound of country music that would even make Toby Keith cry.
- Wake up in the middle of night after nightmares of New Hampshire invading Vermont.
