World War III

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The road to World War III

World War III is currently an ongoing conflict between Israel and Lebanon. Stalin, the previous president of Russia who was banned by the UN, resurfaced as the president of Hezbollah, a militant extremist party funded by Iran and made up completely of bears.

Stalin has threatened to use nukular force on Lebanon if it does not release the two prisoners it took from the Hezbollah. Also, as of two weeks ago, 2pac and Elvis have decided to mobilize their forces, so expect a lot of loud and annoying music, as well as hippie protestors.

The reason for Israel's presence in the conflict is unknown but has been attributed to the WMDs that they posess.

As seen on the July 18, 2006 Report.

In commemoration of World War III, Stephen Colbert printed up 'Welcome Jesus!' t-shirts, and later established the World War III eternal flame on the August 3, 2006 edition of The Report.

[edit] Stages Of World War III

A couple of weeks of conventional weapons (M-16's, bottle rockets, etc.)
Step it up to nukes
Jesus comes and teams up with Ronald Reagan's Ghost to kill all bears, liberals, socialists, communists, and, of course, homosexuals.
Everyone else leaves (something to do with falling hair, and a really long winter), heading to the nearest Earthlike planet in Alpha Centauri, and naming it "Republicania".