Watershift Down: Getting the Seamonkey off of America's Aqua-Back

From Wikiality

This is a very special Special Report, where Dr. Colbert explains what it is with water.

[edit] Water, What is it with it

• The Sun causes water to evaporate, condensing into clouds.
  • Then feminists and taxes make God cry
    • Thus, the ocean is replenished
• The male human body is made up of:
  • 60% H₂O
  • and 40% 41% Spicy Sweet Chili Flavored Doritos
• Silverlining
  • 38 billion empty water bottles end up in landfills
• Aqua Colbert

[edit] Dr. Colbert Visits The Museum

• Dr. Colbert then visited the American Museum of Natural History in New York
  • H₂O=Life exhibit (replaced the Crack Cocaine = Awesome exhibit)
  • Dr. Melanie Stiassny
• water is not ice, or gas, it is water
• she claimed it was solid, liquid and vapor
• accepted her apology

• 60% of the human body is water
  • Stephen is only 2% interested
• insisted that America's Planet is millions thousands of years old
• tried to push her theory (she wasn't there)
  • fish spawn in water

• another use for water is to squirt newsmen with squirt guns (far more effective than a caulking gun)