William Henry Harrison
From Wikiality
William Henry Harrison was the 9th President of the United States of America. He won election thanks to his powerful campaign slogan "If you don't elect me, so help me god, I'll tip this canoe over. Then you'll all be sorry."
He was in office for thirty days, but pussied out, whining that his lungs were "full of fluid." He died of pneumonia, which he contracted as he gave his inaugural address (which nobody attended) in the freezing cold outside the White House, which also still emanated a chilly aura of frost after twelve years of Democrat power.
Harrison was a Whig. Nobody is quite sure what that means. But it sure made him die in a big fat hurry.
A supreme disappointment, but better than Martin Van Buren.


