Willy Wonka

From Wikiality

Willy Wonka is the inventor of chocolate. He is also both Senator Joe Lieberman's and archnemesis Marilyn Manson's hero, because chocolate are their favorite food.

Career

Willy Wonka invented many kinds of candy and along with being delicious, chocoteis14564 is an antiexplosive a key ingredient in gasoline and other chemicals. This meant that Wonka had control of all the gasoline in the world, which made him the most powerful person in the world. He tried to invent a system like the internet in 1951, but it failed to work because it was impossible to make a computer small enough at the time. He invented on-demand tv in 1951 and called it WonkaVision, but it did not sell very well. He tried to invent a system like XM radio but failed because his internet system did not work well. He invented Safties to catch falling elevators in 1953, they sold well in 1985 when they were mandatory. He also invented the multidirectional elevator in 1954 and called it The Wonkavator, but the idea did not catch on until 2002. He tried to invent Ice Cream That Never Melts, experiments for this product began in 1955 and ended in 1996. His last major invention was the Elephone a telephone that works in an elevator, it was invented in 1984.

Jackson Vs. Wonka

It has been suggested that Michael Jackson is actually Willy Wonka, based on similarities in their appearance. This is also backed up by his apparent attempts at misinformation in the 80s when Jackson claimed that he did not like Chocolate. Which we know is a lie. Everyone likes Chocolate. Unless of course, you're a Communist, which means you're going to burn in Hell. Willy Wonka, to his credit, doesn't put out the alcoholic drink known to the world as Jesus Juice. Michael Jackson invented the shit, and has used it to feed his Wikipedophilia habit ever since. Wonka, much like Jackson has a very light skin colour, which could be from surgery. But the key difference, is that unlike Jackson, Wonka IS a pedophile.