Wolverine

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Wolverine
is too Canadian, speak American, eh.
He's coming for you Manilow.
He's coming for you Manilow.

Wolverine is a member of the X-Men and the most manly member of the team, despite being shorter than Jon Stewart and Canadian, which shows just how unmanly they are. His has a mutant healing factor that alows him to avoid waiting to see a Canadian doctor.

He was nominated for a 2006 Emmy Award for Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program, alongside Stephen Colbert and Barry Manilow, ultimately losing out to Manilow. Stephen claimed he wouldn't have minded losing the Emmy to Wolverine, a compliment returned by the X-Man:

"I lost to Barry Manilow. Barry Manilow. I lost to Mandy. Singing and dancing is not performing unless I'm doing it. Colbert I could have lost to - he's got balls for brains."

[edit] Mutant Traits

  • Rapid regenerative healing
  • Deadly Sharp Adamantium claws
  • Pointy hair
  • Extreme Hotness

[edit] Factoids

  • Has claws for hands.
  • Nickname: Logan
  • Adamantium-clad skeleton sometimes causes adamantium rages.
  • Has a fetish for Asian chicks, spotted on Asian business resort the "Slant-Puss Dojo" around the same time as Marvin Bush.




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