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Contents 1 Senator Larry Craig Holds A Press Conference 2 Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson Speaks To VFW 3 Soccer Player David Beckham Injures Himself During Game 4 Condoleeza Rice Contemplates Her Legacy 5 Denver Promotes Water Conservation 6 British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #1 7 British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #2 8 AT&T Ends "Time of Day" Service 9 Jerry Lewis Hosts MDA Labor Day Telethon 10 Greenpeace Protester in Australia 11 Heat Wave Hit Southern California 12 Panama Celebrates Opening Of Canal 13 The Greatest President Ever Personally Oversees The Surge 14 The Greatest President Ever With General Petraeus 15 A Man Jumps Through Flaming Hoops 16 General David Petaeus Testifies Before Congress

[edit] Senator Larry Craig Holds A Press Conference

(I actually heard this one from a news broadcast.)

• Sex scandal brings senator to his knees - The Lake Effect 21:53, 1 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson Speaks To VFW

• The more senile veterans wonder, "how did District Attorney Branch escape from my television set?" - The Lake Effect 23:21, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
• "Holding your fists up like this is the first step to looking majestic!" - The Lake Effect 22:13, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Soccer Player David Beckham Injures Himself During Game

• Beckham shows spectators how to kick like an ass. - The Lake Effect 22:15, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Condoleeza Rice Contemplates Her Legacy

Oh yes she does.

"My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard..."--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 21:43, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Denver Promotes Water Conservation

"I just saw Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan over there... GET DOWN!" - The Lake Effect 22:57, 7 September 2007 (UTC)

• Not even the most cunning disguise could keep the Minneapolis airport janitor safe from Larry Craig. --Careax 03:48, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #1

• Wankers prepare pole for operation sodomize.--Pro-Lick 23:25, 3 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] British Troops Leave Basra, Iraq, Photo #2

[edit] AT&T Ends "Time of Day" Service

The Homeland Security Agency has deployed the latest in surveillance equipment for its field operatives. --Randroid 01:00, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Jerry Lewis Hosts MDA Labor Day Telethon

[edit] Greenpeace Protester in Australia

• Now we know where all the polar bears are disappearing to... they're going off to school to write liberal propaganda! --Careax 03:44, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Heat Wave Hit Southern California

[edit] Panama Celebrates Opening Of Canal

This is what we've waited for

This is it boys, I see the shore!

Nena yells a retro cry

As 99 red balloons go by

--Careax 03:42, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

(Everyone's a Captain Kirk!) - The Lake Effect 01:54, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Greatest President Ever Personally Oversees The Surge

In a meeting with Count Dooku, our President reassures the public that the rebels will be defeated. --Randroid 21:38, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

• Condoleezza Rice: "You can get rid of that guy? How quickly?[1]"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:11, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
• "Hehe, you're my new best friend. I think I'll call you towel head." --Careax 04:12, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Greatest President Ever With General Petraeus

• "You're right sir! Your breath does smell like freedom!" --Careax 04:10, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] A Man Jumps Through Flaming Hoops

• General Petraeus practicing before he has to answer questions from Russ Feingold.--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:10, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
• "RING O' FIRE!!" RedManiac 00:26, 18 September 2007 (UTC)

Despite popular belief, rings of fire do not actually burn, they scald.

[edit] General David Petaeus Testifies Before Congress

• "Hey look! I showed up, I'm reading the report, what more do you want? You have no idea how hard it was just getting dressed this morning, I mean, seriously, look at all these medals. And you guys expect me to answer questions too?"--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:07, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

• "Stephen Colbert's 'General Butt Gay Us' is way worse than General Betray Us."--WatchTVEatDonutDrinkBeer 01:08, 14 September 2007 (UTC)