Oregon: An Overview


Oregon is a state of many names. Others call it Washington’s Mexico, while there are also some who call it California’s Canada and still others call it Maine’s Hawaii. Oregon has also been referred to as Nevada’s Alaska and the Pacific Ocean’s nipple. No matter what name it’s called by others, what’s important is that Stephen Colbert has always named it as Idaho’s Portugal.  


Oregon’s (Idaho’s Portugal) state anthem is called ‘A Portugesa‘.



The natives of Oregon are characterized by their colorful dresses and hemp habit. They like to live in average-sized cities, however, they also frequent the woods for some pagan rituals to their idols Al Gore and Ralph Nader. High in marijuana, these natives engage in nonsensical talks about government conspiracies and turning everyone into vegetarians. They speak a strange type of Portuguese that has linguists questioning their sanity because it’s difficult to understand.


When it comes to dialect, the Oregonians have weird linguistic niches that are repeatedly and redundantly spoken in so many different ways that beats the Eskimos and Californians variations of ‘snow’ and ‘plastic surgery’ respectively. 

Here are a few examples of variation words that Oregonians use:

High/stoned. awake, alive, dank, read, run, hug, liberal, asleep.

Mold/mildew. hobo crotch, dank, Oregon grape, Guatemalan hemp polka dots, Birkenstock rot.

Description of Californians. uppity fink, totally un-dank, grump of the dead, daddy evil, gimp.

Cannabis. tree, mocha milkshake, train wreck, mellow velcro, stumblebum buffet, swank snowball, the amazing wuzz, bride of Bigfoot.

Precipitation. atmosphere, dank, poop, mountain dew, bear blood, ganja dew, mexico mountain dew, tears of Gaia.


– Oregon is the country’s largest producer of Christmas trees.

Death by dysentery.

– Field mice are always high.

An Ordinary Day in Oregon

A day in the life of an Oregonian begins and ends at 4:20 PM every single day. This is due to the Oregon-Portugal Vortex phenomenon. 


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