Fodder for the high rollers: What are online casinos all about?

what is an online casino

Simply put, an online casino is a place that allows you to lose money right from the comfort of your couch. If you have a small wad of money to burn, all you need to do is go online and you will have nothing to put your money on in a matter of hours. To others, an online casino is somewhere you get to gamble without the benefit of a pint of beer and the rapt attention of some seriously attractive dealers.

two people fighting over money

Not to be such a wet blanket; people do in fact win in online casinos. And they do so in style. However, if you are one of the many that end up not winning, you can always take comfort in the fact nobody will see you cry after an especially bad beat down by a live dealer sitting on the other side of the Atlantic. That’s got to count for something, right? Anyway, the key to surviving a loss in an online casino involves you not whining about it to anyone, for the simple reason that we have all heard it before. Move along, mate.

Dont tell your wife

Don’t tell your wife

The rules of online gambling:

  1. The first rule of online casino gaming is not to tell your wife about your casino proclivities.
  2. The second rule of online casino gaming is not to tell your wife about your casino proclivities.
  3. The third rule of online casino gaming is to always live to the true creed of rule 1 and rule 2.

Don’t get me wrong; I think you should tell your wife or husband or partner or pet fish anything you want, but telling them that you spent the pizza money on a round of live poker is not exactly going to sit well with them. In fact, it is more likely to earn you a wallop on the upside of your head. Anyway, you are used to beating down in online casinos so I’m willing to wager a tenner that a black eye isn’t going to make you fold.

PS; Also, delete your browser history.

Cracking the nut at the expense of the house

In all honesty, a good number of people get to win in online casinos. However, to beat the house, you have to come up with a real nice plan-forget about a night of prayer before hitting the power button on your computer. One of the easiest ways involves simply using freespins. Don’t laugh. It has been done before by a Norwegian kid who just wanted to sleep on it after watching a Western but woke up the following morning $13 million richer. I bet he used it on Kool-Aid and keg. The best part? He got the casino free spins as a complimentary gift from the online casino. Better believe.

Don Johnson cleans out casino

You could also do it the Don Johnson way. Know him? He is the guy that cleaned out Atlantic City in a matter of months by way of casino welcome bonus. Rumour has it that he did some card counting on the road to riches. From what I hear, rumour is wrong; Johnson is just the cold, skilled and analytical kind of player. So you better just do your homework and trust your instincts. Not to bust your bubble, but card counting is illegal as hell in most casinos, online and in the real world.

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